We need to talk


My girlfriend cries about almost everything. Good or bad. She cries her way into joy and out of frustration. She expresses herself best through tears. She’s not a drama queen per-say, but she has her set of tricky moments.

She is at this stage of her life where if we stay two, three days without seeing each other, she starts to act up. First, she will send a text, “Hi babe.” I will respond. “Hey little bunny: Mambo?”

“Mambo ni wewe!”


“Uko wapi?” she will ask.

Then I will start to think. How do I even respond to that? Not that I don’t know where I am, but I that’s one wrong question to ask a guy. (Ati uko wapi?) As a man, I am supposed to be out here hustling. That means my answer depends on where you are.

“We uko wapi?” I will ask her. Our conversation will take shape based on the response she gives.

If she is in school, we will talk about school. We will talk about her classes or talk about that activity where she got hurt the other day. If she is at work, we will talk about work. We will talk about that colleague or that report that she was working on.

We will talk about how friendly her boss has become of late and how work as become enjoyable. At times she is with her friends. So we talk about her friends. But at times she is alone in the house. That’s where I get the blame. It mostly starts with. “Babe I miss you”. The worst times however are when she starts with “we need to talk!”

“Talk about what!” I ask myself

The last time she suggested that we needed to talk, she had given me chills. It was on a fine Thursday afternoon just before my event started. I was getting ready to take the stage for the premier Nijenge Campus tour. Nijenge is the personal development forum (which I host) that brings together young minds and top leaders from various circles in our society to network.

She dropped the bomb thirty minutes before I took to the stage. “Babe we need to talk!” She spelled out.

“Okay. We’ll talk after the show.” I pointed out.

“Now!” She exclaimed.

“What’s up?” The words slipped through my lips

“Nothing really…” She started, then smiled and embraced me with a tight hug. “I just wanted to wish you the best with the event.” She said. Then she gave me a kiss and with tears in her eyes, she whispered “I love you” and left. Not knowing how I exactly felt after she had walked away, I smiled and went backstage.

I didn’t remember it was her birthday until I saw a notification on Facebook that morning. I quickly reached for my phone, called her and whispered the sweetest birthday message a man can say to his lady. That evening, we met in town after work, enjoyed my now favorite pork ribs at Big Square then made our way to IMAX at around 8pm. My treat it was. Bumble Bee was on. Pop corns got popped. After the movie, she took an Uber with me.

I will not tell you how the night was. (Unless you of cause want to insist that I do). But I need us to talk about something that happened the next morning.

Normally, she wakes up early, takes a shower and alerts m when breakfast is ready. But there she was that morning lying next to me in bed with tears in her eyes. “Morning?” I had asked but she did not bother to respond. Instead, she turned and faced the wall. “Are you okay?” I asked her. “We need to talk!” She responded without looking at me. Talk about what now? I asked myself.

“Did you do it?” She asked

“Do what?” I wondered. Could she be asking if I prepared breakfast already?


  1. That part of literally crying through everything is so me… I need a date with your woman so that we can cry cry wipe of our tears, gossip about the people we wish to meet in life then continue crying…. An amazing article… But hey did you do it?

    • Easy said than done. Do women actually walk in the same direction as far as a man is involved? I need to figure that out perhaps. And btw, Would you do it if it were you? (Asking for a friend)

  2. At this point of my life after reading your incomplete but #Legit blog post I just need to have a date with your girl animalizie hii story. What happened after the tears and facing the wall?

    Good story 👏 👏 👏

    • I appreciate the feedback Legit. When you guys meet, please find out what she did after she faced the wall. if she gives you a #Legit reason, perhaps I will use it to work out the formula behind what I did

  3. “Uko wapi?” is not much of a tussle, you can snap out of it easily. Lakini ukiambiwa “we need to talk” , sisi kama city dwellers unajuanga tu hio ni ball.

    • Hahaha nugu! I see what you (or rather where you) are headed. But I like the way you are thinking still. Sasa toka hapa haha

  4. If you didn’t do it you’re a disgrace to the men out here. Always prepare breakfast for her if she comes at your place Mbai. Good article bro!

  5. Females act up, do drama,throw tantrums etc.. Just give up understanding them; this humans have been feeding dolls real food when they were little and a majority of them still have dolls.

    • I will skip the part where I say you almost sounded like one right there. Unless am the only one who thinks in that line. Btw, what do you do with a lady once you stop understanding her? (Asking for a friend)

  6. Awesome, that girl is so me.. And Uko wapi questions,is so an innocent and caring questions, no malice or probe intended… It spells concern…..not saying where you are.. Ignites… We need to talk.!!!
    …you bleed on paper man!! no doubt… Tag me onthe next episode.. I know you did it…, question is… Why?

    • Is it still caring that you’ll not believe the answer your given after asking “Uko wapi?” Normally the answer will be followed by “Babe uko sure?” … True. A man bleeds on paper without doubt. See you on the next post. But would you have done it if you were me?


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