Do you believe that a man is naturally weak? That while a strong man can handle a strong woman, a weak man may say she has an attitude? Do you believe that men should be taught to apologize for their weakness and women for their strength?
While there are a lot things I don’t know about strength and weakness, I know that a weak man, (no matter how hard he tries) cannot love a strong woman. I know a weak man does not know what to do with a strong woman. I also know that the worst kind of weight any woman can gain is the weight of a weak man.
That’s why whenever a weak man meets Judy, he will first call her rude. Then he will say she has an attitude. If the two try to reason together, and even end up dating, it will not be long before the weak man (let’s call him Jnr) starts saying that Judy has changed.
When weak men like Jnr land on strong women like Judy, most of them make a peaceful escape. A strong woman is not of a same feather with weak men. So they can’t flock together. Such men have value. They have value because after their peaceful escape, they will meet less stronger women and build something stronger together. They will from time to time call or drop a text to find how the stronger woman is doing, but at no time whatsoever will you find them saying, “I lost that battle.” They accepted defeat and moved on.
Then there is Jnr. The uncouth definition of a weak man! The one who just can’t accept defeat! Jnr will meet a strong woman today, date her tomorrow and loose her the day after. He will lose her to books because a strong woman spends more time learning. He will lose her to friends because a strong woman loves spending quality time with people who make her grow. He will lose her to skills because a strong woman will seek and hold tight to the skills she has. Skills that propel her forward. Skill that have no vocabulary for laziness.
He will think about every minute he has tried to satisfy her desires (which he of-cos knows none), then he will start to spit upon her name. “she is not my type!” he will tell a friend.
“she’s rolling with sponsors manze!” he will tell another.
“Huyo ni chuma moto! Kama unataka kufa enda hapo!” He will add.
He will broadcast things like, “she is an under classed piece of shit!” He will try to convince his circle of ‘blind cowards’ how she is a ‘trump’ all in an effort to turn his friends against her. He will forget that he is the ‘broke nigga who is only good in bed!’ Did you know that broke men are actually good in bed? (Na sisemi broke ya pesa).
While he spits on her, Judy will keep growing. She will keep chasing the things that matter to her. She will attend her classes as usual and have meaningful conversations with ‘her type’ of friends during events. She will tweet her favorite moments and like the posts that make her smile. She will start to add weight after the weak circus around her drops off. She will rediscover that it’s the little things in life that matter. Judy will invest more time investing to make herself happy than she used to attending to Jnr. Her mind will be freed. It will take her time to forget him (because she loved with her heart), but finally fresh experiences will rise. And that-way, memories of Jnr will start to fade.
While her name is tarnished among a few weak drunkards, Judy’s impact will be felt among elites. She will sit among leaders and get nominations to top awards. She will campaign and ask for votes like any nominated contender would. Her friends will love her more and more every day.
On the awards night, Judy will turn up in a new elegant dress (one which junior would never buy for her). People will look at her and smile. They will want to touch it. They will want to ask her where she got it and how much it cost her. They will love her for who she is. A strong woman. As the ceremony starts, Jnr will look at her and swallow hard.